Time for some light relief… here’s a list I’ve compiled of 25 horse jokes and puns to put a smile on your face, and make your friends roll their eyes – the good, the bad (and some down right cringey!) horse humour for equestrians…
We may as well start with the first of all the horse jokes that comes to mind…
A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks: “Why the long face?”
A horse walks into a bar. “Hey,” says the barman. “Yes please,” says the horse.
Have you heard the story about the runaway horse?
It’s a terrible tale of ‘Whoa!’
The ‘Whoa’ punch line also works for…
Did you hear about the depressed horse?
His story was a tale of ‘Whoa’!
What’s black and white and eats like a horse?
What ailment do horses fear most?
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Why couldn’t the pony sing?
Because he was a little hoarse
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
How do you know a horse has a negative attitude?
He always says “Neigh”
How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each hoof
What do you call a horse that’s been all around the world?
What happened to the lady who owned a riding school?
Business kept falling off
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?
Where did the newlywed horses stay?
The bridle suite
Why did a man stand behind his horse?
He thought he might get a kick out of it
A disgruntled buyer rings the person who sold them a horse – “You said this horse could jump as high as a five foot fence and she can’t jump at all”. The seller replies, “Well neither can a fence!”
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
What list of horse jokes would be complete without some related to horse racing…
I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1, and it did! Unfortunately all the others came in at midday
What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
What is the slowest horse in the world?
A clothes horse
A man got a tip on a horse that was a sure bet, she was called Cigarette – he didn’t have enough money tobacca though
What is the strongest animal? A racehorse, because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once!
Why did the owner name his racehorse ‘Bad News’?
Because bad news travels fast
“Will I ever be able to race my horse again?” the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, “Of course you will, and you’ll probably beat him too!”
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