25 Horse Jokes and Puns – Horse Humour

Horse jokes and Puns - horse laughing

 

Time for some light relief… here’s a list I’ve compiled of 25 horse jokes and puns to put a smile on your face, and make your friends roll their eyes – the good, the bad (and some down right cringey!) horse humour for equestrians…

 

We may as well start with the first of all the horse jokes that comes to mind…

1)

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks: “Why the long face?”

2)

A horse walks into a bar. “Hey,” says the barman. “Yes please,” says the horse.

3)

Have you heard the story about the runaway horse?
It’s a terrible tale of ‘Whoa!’

The ‘Whoa’ punch line also works for…

4)

Did you hear about the depressed horse?
His story was a tale of ‘Whoa’!

5)

What’s black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra

6)

What ailment do horses fear most?
Hay Fever

7)

What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred

8)

Why couldn’t the pony sing?
Because he was a little hoarse

9)

What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis

10)

How do you know a horse has a negative attitude?
He always says “Neigh”

11)

How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each hoof

12)

What do you call a horse that’s been all around the world?
A globe-trotter

13)

What happened to the lady who owned a riding school?
Business kept falling off

14)

What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?
The ground!

15)

Where did the newlywed horses stay?
The bridle suite

16)

Why did a man stand behind his horse?
He thought he might get a kick out of it

17)

A disgruntled buyer rings the person who sold them a horse – “You said this horse could jump as high as a five foot fence and she can’t jump at all”. The seller replies, “Well neither can a fence!”

18)

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse

 

What list of horse jokes would be complete without some related to horse racing…

19)

I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1, and it did! Unfortunately all the others came in at midday

20)

What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
Sherbet

21)

What is the slowest horse in the world?
A clothes horse

22)

A man got a tip on a horse that was a sure bet, she was called Cigarette – he didn’t have enough money tobacca though

23)

What is the strongest animal? A racehorse, because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once!

24)

Why did the owner name his racehorse ‘Bad News’?
Because bad news travels fast

25)

“Will I ever be able to race my horse again?” the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, “Of course you will, and you’ll probably beat him too!”

 

 

You may also like…

If you’d like something a little more serious after these horse jokes and puns, check out these…

Inspirational Horse Quotes – Quotes to Motivate You & Make You Smile

Pony vs Horse – What’s the Difference?

Basic Horse Care For Beginners

 

 

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